HELP me- I'm Gonna Cobble Together a News Release

[Willis]

I've got Spanky's softball, a cracked hot latin chicks DVD, two $1 bills, some pennies, the usual commode, a power mower, about a dozen tires, auto parts. Anything else that we might mention in a news release? How about anecdotal experiences? Our totals are 88 bags and 40 participants in 4 hours of collection - 3 off which were in a steady rain.

I wanna get this out by the end of the week. I've got some fair pics, considering the rain. If anyone else has some shoot them to me.

Super Job, 'padders!!!

[Wormdoc]

We found a retractable tape measure, not retracted. A bunch of syringes with needles attached, too.

[Willis]

We found a retractable tape measure, not retracted. A bunch of syringes with needles attached, too.

Thank You, My Dear Watson-And the game's afoot(I know because we measured it with that tape measure).

What do we know about this litterbug(remember John DeMary's exercise in deduction)? We have a carpenter with a drug habit whose lawn is overgrown. He has a hankerin' for Hispanic ladies, his nickname is Spanky and he plays softball. There is likely a problem with his innards since he's worn out his commode. He droves a 10 wheel truck and a motorcycle, both either up on blocks or sporting new shoes and several new parts. Money doesn't seem to be a problem in spite of his addiction since he throws money out with his litter.

Keep those clues coming- We'll call the 'padders the "Mission Road Irregulars". And watch out litterers, we're on the case:

http://i41.tinypic.com/k037o7.gif

[rooneymom]

Along with some syringes I found an empty insulin bottle and lots of candy wrappers. Seems he may be diabetic? Stan and Kurt found a bunch of glass decorative fruit. Don't know how that fits in.....

[Willis]

A diabetic drug addict with a home, until just recently, decorated with faux fruit. Could this be the same person who left the prosthetic leg in Wormdoc's back yard? The plot thickens.

[STR1KER]

Ok, so I just opened this one and have read the posts...
I'm guessing this was from the trash pickup thingie today?
I'm also guessing this was in one specific location?
Wow... impressive (and the needles thing is quite the scaryness!)

[Willis]

Naw, these "clues" were found the entire length of the road. I just recalled an exercise that John D. had some school kids do after a trash pickup. One of their profiles was that the litterer liked fast food and cheap beer:D. I just thought I could make it a little more interesting to coax info from our 'padders for the article.

EVERYONE is welcome to put together a profile of the litterer and post it. Perhaps my deductions are a wee bit off the mark.

[Tony]

The only thing I found was a five dollar bill. In fact, it had just been passed by another padder, so of course I had to wave it around in triumph just to make her feel bad. :)

It turned out it was only printed on the face, not the back. However, the face appeared real - not play money, or a bad copy.

So maybe the guy is a counterfeiter too!

[Willis]

Egads!! Crimes worthy of Moriarty. This game isn't afoot OR ayard -it may be amile Good call Tony. A Federal Felon under surveillance by the Secret Service, maybe? We'll add that to our profile.

There have been reports of skulking, hooded figures along the road this weekend. The accounts are perplexing; male or female, short or tall, thin or pleasingly padded, young or old. The only thing the descriptions have is that they are different.

AND all were carrying bags-Very suspicious. Bagmen...?

[Cissey]

Our carptenter with a drug habit lost six of the hubcaps on his truck!

[Wormdoc]

Well, we got his tires, but no hubcaps....so mebbe they were pawned for the reams of counterfeiting paper needed, the good stuff with the lil' bitty strings in it! OH! And p'raps the syringes n' needles were for sucking out tattoo ink for the counterfeiting ink! Ya! Ingenious!

[KatherineA]

I turned in the wallet I found (complete with Fed. ID) to the Sheriff's Office. Hopefully, its rightful owner will be relieved that at least no one used their bankcards etc.

[Wormdoc]

That's awesome, KatA!

[OzGirl]

Lots of mini booze bottles...plus a camera type bag with all the instructions and a cleaner rag for a portable XM radio!

[Willis]

It's obvious that the miscreant is a criminal mastermind. I'll have to take the information I have and piece it together after I send in the news article. Thanks, junior gumshoes