An oldie but still funny

[Nanuk]

An airplane was was flying along one day when suddenly the engines sputered and stopped working. The pilot called back and announced that the plane was about to crash and that everyone should grab parachutes and jump. Then the pilot grabbed one and leapt out, leaving 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes.

The first passenger said, "I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player. the Lakers need me. I can't afford to die." So he took the first pack and left the plane.

The second passenger, Hillary Clinton said, "I am the wife of the former U.S President, a Senator from New York, and a potential future president. And I am the smartest woman in American history, so America's people don't want me to die." She took the second pack and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, President George W. Bush, said to the fourth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life and served my country well. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The girl said, "That's okay, sir. There's still a parachute left for you. America's smartest woman took my schoolbag."

[KemCam2]

Ha ha ha ha!
Nice.

[Chutney Daftcraft]

cute.

A little unrelated:

I don't understand why people jump from planes for fun. In emergency I see it, but for just fun - that's a lot of risk. Especially since your life will only continue if that parachute was properly packed.

I was in nags head a few years back, and decided to go parasailing. Me, and my man were in the air, and everything was OK, until we looked down the rope, and noticed that it had broken before, and was just tied into a know and wrapped in duct tape. They tied the parasailing line into a knot!

Never again. I'll stick to land recreation.

[Felix]

I went para-sailing last year on vacation and they do the little dip into the water. I thought it was so your feet get wet and then you go back up. Know how they do it. Yes..they slow the boat down until you hit the water and then they speed off. Well, they timed it wrong and both my wife and I ended up under water. Then we get yanked out of the water into the air. Well the strap you sit on had slid up my back so I was falling out of my harness. I think I still had one around my waist, but it was pretty scary trying to get it back under me while soaring hundreds of feet in the air.
I thought it was great though and would do it again. Jumping out of a plane however does not sound like fun. At least with para-sailing the parachute is already open.

[Felix]

Speaking of un-related: Here is another Blonde joke.


As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out
of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker
lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing
some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again.
She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the
trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says
brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the
street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out
of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck
door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is
Heather,
and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next
light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck,
and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers
it, he says...

"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Michigan, and I'm driving a SALT
TRUCK!"

[Nanuk]

quote:Originally posted by Felix

I thought it was great though and would do it again. Jumping out of a plane however does not sound like fun. At least with para-sailing the parachute is already open.


Wusses....

I used to skydive quite a bit back in my younger days. I worked part-time at the field and got paid in free jumps. Almost everyone jumps with both a main AND a reserve chute. You get two parachutes for a reason. If the main doesn't open right (rare) you deploy your reserve chute and land safely. The odds of both chutes being bad are incredibly small.

If both chutes ARE bad on the same day, it's just your time.

But I gave up skydiving after a particularly bad landing trashed my leg. It was my fault--I was showing off for a TV news crew.(And I looked damned good right up until that last thirty feet or so.) While I was recovering from that, I learned to fly the plane and discovered that the people who get out halfway through the flight are missing most of the fun.

[cindylu]

Never heard that one. Funny!!

[KemCam2]

Nanuk...Is the picture in your profile of you??
You look young, 30ish, but you have sooooo much life experience...
How did you get so much done in so little time?

(sorry for the off topicness (my new word) That joke was funny felix.)

[Nanuk]

Yes, that is me last winter enjoying a sunny day next to the Trans-Alaskan pipeline north of Fairbanks.

I was 30 once, but it's been a while.

As for getting things done, you only get one life and you don't know when it's going to end. I've made it a point to get out and do as much as possible and I grab for the brass ring every chance I get. The only thing we can ever truly lose over time is opportunity and when I die and God asks me what I did with the life he gave me, I plan on showing him a lengthy list.

And I'm not done yet by a long shot.