Living on our Blue Ridge mountain never runs short of surprises, eccentricities and challenges. Some time ago, members of Shannondale and Beyond compiled a list of these peculiarities. It's been buried in the S&B database and we thought it was worthy of a place as an article in our CMS.

You Know You Live On Our Blue Ridge Mountain when/if/because:

  • the flying insects cast shadows across your deck
  • you have bigger things to worry about than rats after your trash
  • your garden grows headless tulips, and all you can say is "Oh Deer"
  • you have money for a yearly suspension replacement and quarterly alignments
  • you want to be teased by a "look but don't touch" lake
  • the 3 parts you need for your car are scattered on your neighbors lawn
  • one burn permit means the whole street can burn their leaves
  • you trade Waste Management stickers with your neighbors like cigarettes in jail
  • you lock your house but not your car
  • your best memories lie upon the foundation of a burned building
  • your friends make you meet them at the gate even though you're the 4th house into the development
  • you never want to see a police cruiser in your neighborhood
  • the bugs fight back
  • raking leaves is for all seasons - not just fall.
  • you see a fallen tree as an opportunity for some free heat
  • at least one of your friends has the last name of Cogle
  • you know (without being told) that when you put a gun in your glove box, you face it towards the passenger side of the car.
  • you have digital cable, digital satellite, and DSL, but yet an analog signal is all you get on your mobile phone
  • you know what snow chains are and how to apply them in under 2 minutes.
  • you have to dump the dead bugs out of your light fixtures every week.
  • you've never used a Gillette on a Saturday
  • sighting the Waste Management truck near your house between November and April is a reason to cheer
  • you drive around with a Shannondale.org bumper sticker on your car.
  • you know more about people you have never met than actual family members.
  • you know your neighbors by a screen name but not a real name.
  • you've ever had to shovel the snow off your road - not just your driveway - but your ROAD
  • your kids cant go out to play cuz its a bad gnat day
  • you know who charlie the dog is
  • you have to drive to get your mail.
  • the sound of sirens immediately sends you to check shannondale.org to find out what it is about.
  • you have ever been stuck on mission road for more than an hour because of an accident.
  • the worst 4 letter word you hear during the summer is F-I-R-E!
  • you have ever ridden a sled down your road to your house after work because you had to park at the top of the hill when it snowed.(and it was fun)
  • you spend more time looking out for copperheads than you do raking leaves
  • you can cut your yard with a weed-eater.
  • woodpeckers prefer your house over the trees.
  • your realtor didn't mention your water will probably be orange.
  • you gladly drive 120 miles roundtrip to work.
  • you only have one choice for regular phone service and it isn't Verizon.
  • you find at least 2 spiders in your house every day no matter how many you kill(or gently take outside)
  • you're able to walk outside on a winters morning and determine if schools going to be cancelled at least an hour before the Board of Education.
  • your neighbors moved from Northern Virginia to enjoy the mountain surroundings yet clear cut the trees from their property.
  • the sounds of gunfire at midnight on New Years eve doesn't phase you.
  • your average commute time per week is more than half of the actual hours you work.
  • it's 22 degrees outside and snowing and you're being towed behind a four wheeler to the top of the mountain just to sled back down.
  • you don't smoke, but regularly walk around outside holding a lit cigarette because "it keeps the gnats away."
  • you've ever driven to town and back in the middle of a blizzard just because someone said you couldn't do it.
  • you've ever tried to drive to Eagles Nest in the middle of an ice storm late at night just to see what the valley would look like when it's frozen over..... (author raises hand and lowers head- alcohol a determining factor
  • the thought of driving fifteen minutes for a loaf of bread does not phase you.
  • you have to replace the shocks and suspension on your vehicle as often as the tires.
  • you've ever changed the air filter and found "critters" living in the air box.
  • you've ever found "critters" in the air box of your car and given them to your cats as toys.
  • you've ever jumped the fence late at night to go skinny dipping at the pool.
  • you've ever jumped the fence late at night to go skinny dipping at the pool only to discover that you weren't alone.
  • you've ever been swimming in the lake and been hooked like a marlin by someone fishing off of the pier.
  • you've ever been hooked by someone fishing off the pier and they actually try to reel you in.
  • as a youngster some old guy with german accent referred to you as "a little indian."
  • you've ever driven yourself to the hospital because "it's faster than waiting for the ambulance."
  • you wave at everyone that drives by your house and get irritated if someone doesn't wave back.
  • you've ever complained about kids riding ATV's at high rates of speed on public roads.
  • you've ever contemplated stringing fishing wire across a road to slow down kids on ATV's.
  • you've ever tried kayaking the creek in your backyard during a heavy thunderstorm.
  • the mere mention of flooding prompts you to take the day off work to raft the river.
  • you've ever wondered why you have to pick up your mail at a central location when Fed Ex delivers right to your door.
  • you've ever order a pizza for delivery and had to drive halfway to get it.
  • most of your roads are not paved and none of them are lined
  • your power goes out any time the wind blows.
  • you're not afraid to shower with insects.
  • you need a 4 wheel drive to get your mail. (Gate 2)
  • you think the greatest fireworks display in the history of mankind ended with an exploding van.
  • you know the weight of the animal in the woods by the breaking of the sticks
  • you've seen more stars than the Hubble itself
  • you have friends that don't live on the mountain, and every time they come over and hear a stick in the woods break, they ask, "What was that???"
  • the wildlife is on the same feeding schedule as your house animals
  • you leave cat food out on yer deck, and at 2am it sounds as if your cat has gained 15lbs and is still hungry, only to find out it's another happy forest critter
  • the water ever stops running, there's always the deck
  • whenever it snows, or there's a storm brewin', ya get the pots of water ready for the woodstove to cook, and water in the bathtub and sink to flush
  • you see a WVDOT vehicle in Mission road and pray it is coming to either grade or add gravel to your road.
  • after a big storm you take your chainsaw in the car to work so you can get through the roads
  • you get home from your 2 hour commute from Virginia, pop open a couple of cold beers, sit out on your deck, look at the trees and say "Damn this this nice!!"
  • you get home from your 2 hour commute from Virginia, pop open a couple of cold beers, sit out on your deck, look at the trees and say "Damn this this nice!!", then run inside because the bugs are drinking your beer.
  • you get home from your 2 hour commute from Virginia, pop open a couple of cold beers, sit out on your deck, look at the trees and say "Damn this is nice!!", then run inside because the bugs are drinking your beer, where you promptly grab a couple of more beers...one for the bugs (Corona) and one for yourself (Sierra Nevada Pale Ale), figuring it sure beats living in Fairfax.
  • you've ever done a load of laundry that has come out with an orange tinge to it.
  • you pretend you're on the cast of Little House on the Prairie (w/ the wood stove and candles) when the electric goes out
  • the electric goes out, you read by mosquito candles
  • mosquitoes in neighborhood can pick up small children
  • your friends from outta town come over they comment on how pretty the birds are, and you say, "No, those are moths."
  • friends come over they say, "I think a storm is comin'", and you say, "Naw, that's a swarm of gnats."
  • getting ice cream back to the house requires a cooler and a 2 pound bag of ice
  • there's more beer in your fridge then the local beer store
  • going out to get the morning paper naked is a common sight
  • telling your neighbor something requires a bullhorn / smoke signals
  • all the neighbors gather for tree cutting parties rather than block parties
  • most ppl have to drive to see nature, you just walk out your back door
  • your neighbor has a trampoline in the front yard and is usually working on one of the 3 cars in the driveway.
  • getting electric to your house requires 1,000 foot of wire
  • seeing snakes / spiders in the washing machine is a common sight
  • your screen door looks like fly paper at night
  • your lights outside attract moths the size of small birds
  • you're closer to the moon than Apollo 3 ever was
  • before computer communication, the way to get the message across was the Humpty Dumpty Party Hotline
  • making love to your girlfriend on the back lawn on the house, always requires the question, "WTF just moved thru the grass?" or, "God I hope that was YOUR hand!"
  • walking your dog(s) at night require a flashlight, a shotgun, and snake shot
  • you learn that when the forest goes silent - LISTEN / LOOK AROUND!!!!!
  • in the Winter, your back deck can be used as extra refrigerator space
  • in the Summer, the creek can be used to keep the drinks cold
  • for some, pot fields are a common garden
  • in a bad snow storm, a baby pool is an 8 person sled
  • seeing snake skins on the clothes line is a common sight
  • you can actually bury a "body" and NO ONE ever finds it
  • when you call the cops, they call you back for directions
  • you have a generator hooked to your house so you can flush the toilet when the electric is out
  • you never get on Mission Road with less than 1/4 tank of gas
  • you plant flowers according to what the deer don't eat, not for what they look like
  • you see a Shannondale.org sticker on a car while your out on the town and you smile with pride
  • you see a bumper sticker that says "In the winter my other car is a snowmobile", and say, "Wow so is mine!"
  • getting mexican food requires, a trip to the local airport
  • there is trash lining the road
  • there is a recliner on your front porch
  • you can't stand to go outside b/c of the gnats buzzing your eyes, hair, nose, and mouth
  • you can hear sirens going down the road on a daily basis
  • you feel like a medical genius when you discover how gently rolling a wet Q-tip in your eye will remove a gnat.
  • you can measure the rainfall with the holes in the road.
  • you actually think "the other way out" is less hilly. (that goes out to the folks up on Aerie lane)
  • you've developed "CSI style" reasons as to why the clubhouse burned down
  • you've developed a strange muscle in your leg that only gets used when applying the most gentle of pressure on your brake as your car is pointed straight down a hill on icy roads.
  • you keep a car just for parking at the bottom to take to work in the winter in case you have to walk down. That old red 1985 prelude that used to sit on the end of johnnycake by gate one was my "snowmobile".
  • you think pavement is a luxury item.
  • you've ever been deer hunting and never left your back porch.
  • you don't think twice about a hurricane but the mere mention of possible snowfall sends you out for supplies like it's the end of the world.
  • you've ever tried to use your snow blower to remove leaves from your yard just to see if it will work. (author again lowers his head and raises his hand.)
  • you've ever used a leaf blower to try and clear dry snow from your sidewalks.
  • you have ever heard snickering in the background when trying to give someone directions to your house.
  • you've ever had to explain to someone what a Johnnycake is.
  • you yourself have ever had to look up on wikipedia.com what johnnycake is.
  • you see a flashing green light in your rearview mirror at 2 in the morning and laugh uncontrollably.
  • you've ever compared the ruins of the club to the greek Parthenon.
  • you think the mystery of who burned the club down will go down in history as one of the great topics of all time and should be ranked along side "Who shot JR."
  • you've ever tried to defend where you live with the phrase, "It's considered a part of the DC Metro area."
  • you've ever slowed your car down for an approaching police vehicle, but when you realize it's from Loudoun county you downshift and floor it.
  • the mere mention of an HOA in a crowded room has the same effect as taunting a pack of rabid pit bulls- You might be from Shannondale.
  • you might be from Shannondale if you've ever referred to Blue Ridge Acres, Keys Ferry Acres, West Ridge Hills etc as "The other side of the Mountain."
  • the Chris Farley SNL skit about "living in a van down by the river" sounds like the perfect start to your dream weekend.
  • being referred to as an "alien" has more to do with how you represent yourself then your country of origin.
  • you've ever taken a hike on a trail and ended up in a different state.
  • you've ever been boating on the lake and been attacked by the beaver.
  • all of your friends from high school bought homes a few blocks from where they grew up.
  • the lyrics "Over the river and through the woods to grandmothers house we go" sound eerily familiar and remind you that's how far you actually have to walk for family outings
  • you might be from Shannondale if you've ever referred to River View Park as "The hole in the donut."
  • your half million dollar dream house is located directly across thee street from a rundown 1954 hunting cabin that has been abandoned since 1986.
  • you know exactly which dwelling is referred to as "the A-frame crack house."
  • you've ever peed off of your back porch without a care in the world
  • you've ever been to an authentic Hawaiian luau and yet are still a few stumbling blocks from your house.
  • take a high-velocity (usually all metal) fan on an orange cord with you while you are gardening, laying out, or several fans if you are having a gathering. The gnats can't fight the wind, y'all.
  • the trash collection service fails to pick up your garbage but the local bear doesn't.
  • your morning walk to catch the school bus involves a flashlight and a can of change to scare off the wild animals.
  • when you have friends from out of town and you take them on a ride, they gleefully point out "Possumwood" and "Moonshine" lanes and declare that they're definitely in West Virginia.
  • you can hear everything your new neighbors do and smell everything they cook, but you've never actually seen them because of the trees in your backyard.
  • when you see a car on your road from out of state you are amazed and wonder what they're doing way up here.
  • when you ask someone where they're from and they answer "the mountain", you can have a conversation about what gate they live at/where they pick up their mail/what recent wild animals they've seen, and no one else understands what you're talking about.
  • you have ever been lost more than half an hour and need a map to find your "neighbors" house.
  • your neighbor's lawnmower is more expensive than their car.
  • you need directions to AND from your neighbor's house
  • you think hanging paper plates on telephone poles with arrows on them is a completely acceptable way of providing directions
  • when it's nighttime and a new moon, it's really DARK
  • your phone is busy so your neighbor shines a flashlight in your window so that you two can talk
  • 4 people on your road share a trash collection bill
  • you see more loose dogs than wild animals
  • when you take your friends to the "Ball Park" for the first time they are disappointed because they thought it was an actual park
  • the DNR officer scares you more than the police do
  • at the first sight of a police car you and the neighbors take bets on whose house they are going to
  • the police scanner is considered a form of entertainment and so is watching the neighbors get arrested
  • you are peeing off the back porch and the neighbor sees you and waves (my husband did this)
  • you make up names for your neighbors since you haven't met them yet
  • you go to book club and don't expect to talk about books and don't expect to remember what you did talk about.
  • you live on a gravel road yet see the need for speed bumps
  • your dogs get more visitors than you do
  • you break an old broom handle into pieces to fit it in a bag so Waste Management will actually take it
  • you sometimes wish there were a stoplight on the mountain so you can make a left onto Rt 9
  • when mowing the yard, you duck and close your eyes when turning as the gnats deflect off of your face
  • letting the dogs in at night entails the task of swatting the 25 bugs swirling around the kitchen light
  • the majority of drivers have an SUV out of necessity, not for posterity
  • people know who Scooter the dog is
  • the community school buses have their own winter alert schedules
  • the cost of gas can't persuade you to sale your SUV
  • you know that a "gate" really isn't a gate
  • you have shuttled children you don't know to Mission Road so they could catch the bus
  • you laugh at the people driving cars in the winter, wait for them to give up, then give them a ride to their destination
  • if you realize that the only cops that come up here are the ones that live here and their jurisdiction is in another county in another state.
  • your house has been burglarized by someone whose last name begins with a Z.
  • one of the rules in the covenants is that you can't have an outhouse.
  • you and your neighbors dog were both bitten by copperheads and lived to brag about it.
  • the moss on your neighbors' roof needs mowed more than their yard.
  • when you tie glow sticks to a kite, send it up late at night and ride in to town just so you can pinpoint where you live on the mt
  • watching new residents on the mt in the winter coming up G1, is the main form of entertainment when snowed in.
  • you go on a field trip to the DC zoo with your kid's class and you laugh about the animals there that you usually see in your yard
  • you've grilled outside in the winter because the power was out
  • your fireplace / wood burning stove isn't an accessory
  • the Fed-ex lady can find your house on the first try, but it takes local utility companies several attempts
  • you can go to Home Depot and find flowers for sale that grow wild in your yard
  • you have orange daylilies in your yard / on your street
  • you can use a different route each day to go from town to your house and never pass the same neighbor twice
  • when your cable modem goes down you leech from your neighbor's dsl (and vice versa)
  • cingular drops all service from the storage sheds to just beyond the stop sign at Gate 4
  • your kids refer to pretzel rods as "the kind at Mister Weber's store"
  • you see your neighbors more at Wal-mart than you do on the mountain.
  • you go to Wal-mart after 10pm to avoid long lines.
  • you've driven past the Charles Town Wal-mart because the one in Martinsburg is right next to the mall.
  • getting muck from your sinks and bathtubs are considered "acceptable" by a certain utility.
  • you have orange toilets...
  • you have a chest freezer in the basement/garage
  • your husband buys MRE's and Potassium Iodine tabs
  • after a heavy rainfall, half your neighbors yard is in the road....
  • before a NASCAR race you've ever stood up in the middle of your living room and removed your hat before the singing of the national anthem...
  • you've ever chased an emu around a party at midnight because there was no more deer meat on the barbecue and you were in the mood for wings.
  • you've ever been to the landing at 2am and two drunk "fishermen" swam ashore with a cooler full of beer because their boat capsized in the middle of the lake.
  • you've ever played volleyball at the club.
  • you've ever played volleyball at the club with a volleyball that had ben dipped in kerosene and lit on fire just because...
  • you poured water down the slide on the dock before ya went down it cos the hose wasn't working correctly
  • you took a walk all the way around the floating dock to note the huge "turtle holes" in the netting before going in
  • while swimming out there Tony Lenhart would come up and scare the S outta ya w/ his snorkel!
  • growing up, you were referred to as one of the "Little Indians"
  • you leave the outside light on at night to attract more bugs to the web of the spider that you've named Charlotte.
  • you pull up chair to watch her catch and wrap up her victims.
  • the major sounds you hear at night are the wind in the trees, frogs, insects, and dogs barking instead of glass breaking on pavement, sirens, and people shouting.
  • your neighbors bring you surplus fruits, veggies and sometimes invite you over on the spur of the moment if they have extra food for dinner--Neighbors here in Shannondale are the best I've ever had.
  • you've worked out a pet-care network with your neighbors so you can all let out and feed each other's pets when someone is going to be late getting home.
  • you've got a GREAT forum like S.org to keep you in touch with your community even though you've never met any of the "regulars," and the posts from total strangers can make you belly laugh as though you've known them for years. THANKS!
  • your neighbors think that driving through your yard is an acceptable short cut for getting to their house
  • it is wrong for teenagers to trespass at the lake, but perfectly okay for adults.
  • it is wrong for other people to speed, but okay for the one's who believe they know how to drive safely when speeding.
  • you have gotten to the point where you are shocked by the fact that people will complain about all of the above when others do it, but be able to justify when they do it.
  • you could choke your neighbor online, but are perfectly willing to cook them a good burger at a picnic.
  • you grade your driveway after a good rainfall.
  • the word "gradual slope" doesn't apply to your yard.
  • you have ever stared into the eyes of a deer as you were driving on Rt. 9 at night and prayed they weren't thinking of crossing the street at that moment.
  • getting back to nature means stepping out your front or back door.
  • you are located within a 3 minute drive of both a river and a lake.
  • you can get spaghetti from the fire station and Jello shooters from literature.
  • you realize now that the gravel in your yard (in your new to you house) came from a river that ran down your street in a downpour. I almost have to put my truck in 4 wheel drive to get over the hump!
  • you go camping in the woods... oh wait! that's just your yard.
  • your neighbor's dog is best friends with your dog and they don't mind if he comes over to play in the yard.
  • you have to have a U-haul truck to move your things from the big moving truck that is sitting down on Mission Road.
  • you laugh at the million dollar home with the yard washing away from the rains. They should've known better!
  • if the power goes out you start to feel antsy and keep checking the sump pumps every 20 minutes.
  • you hear someone knocking on your office window, you freak out...and then you realize it's a tiny bird pecking for munchies from your window AC unit!
  • you get stuck behind someone on route 115/9 and they are doing 35 mph the entire way, they turn onto Mission Rd. continuing at 35 mph, and then they turn on the main road to your house and you can't help but wonder if they're one of the people who brag about doing a safe driving speed on the forum!!
  • your electric goes out at least once each day, and your cable/DSL goes out at least once a week
  • you have WASP nests/hornet nests/wood borer bees in every available cubby hole outside yourself--including your children's swing set pieces, AC's, cable box, the hose reel, etc.
  • you've ever moved 827 miles away just to realize that all of the things listed above are 100% true and an undeniable part of who you are and realize it's something you cannot live without then you might be me, and I am from the Blue Ridge Mountain of Jefferson County WV.
  • you know what kind of bug just flew in your mouth just by the taste...
  • your neighbors wave and say Hi while you and the dog are peeing in the front yard.
  • you shoot at a groundhog in the yard and the neighbors call you to see if you got him.
  • your wife gets nicknamed Moonshine Mary because she got caught by the VP at the national sales meeting passing around a jug of your homemade 'shine and now she has to bring some for him every year.
  • deer proofing the garden costs more than buying fresh produce at Martin's
  • where else would someone post about having frogs to give away because they are draining and cleaning their pond (or pool) and won't be able to do it unless all the frogs find homes and where else, I ask ya, are there dozens of folks who immediately will post and say, hey! I'll take a bunch!
  • where else would folks get excited about having a raffle for a truckload of horse poop???
  • directions to your house include "turn onto the paved road"
  • the price of gas is a major factor on how often you check your mail
  • your neighbors dog stops barking you look outside to see what's wrong
  • the deer give you an attitude because you car broke up their morning get together
  • you never get on Mission Road with less than 1/4 tank of gas - so so true
  • there's only one road on and off the mountain.(Actually 3 exits- Rt9 east & west and the daunting Chestnut Hill Rd.)
  • sometimes when it rains, your yard becomes an instant swimming pool!
  • you share your garden with the surrounding animals, or in our case you find half eaten tomatoes on the picnic table every morning.
  • you have to drive your little kids to the nearest bus stop.
  • you know what the "Shannondale Snow Plan" is during the winter months.
  • there are more insects inside your car than outside.
  • you keep firecrackers on the nightstand to toss out the window when the raccoons start checking out the chicken pen in the middle of the night.
  • you only get mail 3-4 X a month...because you have to drive 6 miles round trip to get it.
  • when the common nickname for a large neighborhood is also what keeps breasts in place.
  • you swallow enough bugs when talking to your neighbor to get your daily protein allowance.
  • the Shannondale Snow Plan - take annual leave and go back to bed.
  • one of your neighbors posts a "lost chicken" ad on the web.
  • there is a public discussion involving the possibility of getting a D.U.I. while piggyback riding on your friend.
  • you know you live on the mountain when you use 3 different types of lawnmowers to cut your grass.
  • you know you live on the mountain; when you find bite marks on your trashcan from a very large animal..
  • you have to park a mile from home, and walk in a snowstorm